We made it to the in-laws in Central Florida! The kids are beyond ecstatic and think they are in heaven. I’m grateful for a little extra time to catch up on sleep and rest as I am realizing my body is needing to recoup after two very hard weeks. Kelton’s working hard as ever and often missing out on the fun with grandparents.
I had a chance to sit alone on the beach on Sunday night and reflect. This was my first chance to really stop, sit, rest, reflect, and remind myself to breathe. I quickly realized that I was a ball of emotions. Exhaustion, excitement, disappointment, worry, sadness, and hopeful were just a few. I sat and allowed myself to feel and recognize each emotion, giving it its due attention, but not allowing myself to dwell on any too long. I then just released them to God and began praying for guidance, clarity, strength, and peace. This is a new place for me to be in, literally and figuratively. I know God has a plan and a purpose for this time, but it is all unknown to me and that makes me worry. I have absolutely no idea where we are supposed to live, how we will know where to live, and how to find a home. Thats overwhelming and scary. But you know what? God knows and that’s where my faith comes in. I choose to trust that God has a plan and He will guide us to where he wants us to be, and He will do it in His perfect timing.
How can I have such faith? Well honestly my faith often still feels very new and infantile. However I have seen God work enough in my 43 years that I can trust. Also I have heard the testimony of enough other people who have shared how God moved in their lives, in His perfect timing, working out impossible situations, and blessing His people with His love in the way only He can. So that’s how I have faith to face this time.
The one lesson I am learning currently in this time is to seek Him daily. I feel God has actually been preparing me for this weeks ago. Our family introduced two new daily rhythms into lives which have helped us build up our faith and prepared us for this adventure. One, we chose to remove TV from our lives for 30 days. Second, we started daily family worship. Our worship time is prayer, worship music, a bible story, and more prayer. I have been amazed that one, we’ve been able to stick to it, and two, how much we look forward to, even crave our worship time together. Kelton and I have both felt strengthened by this daily time, but I am also so amazed to see how the kids are learning this new rhythm so easily and expecting it each day. It helps to remind us that while our security net (our home and community) is disappearing, God is not. He is walking with us through this time. The Bible says He actually goes ahead of us and prepares the way. He goes along with us and shows us the way, holding our hands so we don’t fall. And He goes behind. It is a lot less worrisome and scary to face this adventure when you know that the creator of this world is right there with you the whole time.
A little over a week ago (I’ve lost track of the days) God gently told me that while this was going to be an exciting adventure that it was not going to be easy. The image that came to my mind was a father holding the hand of his toddler while walking together across a rocky path (think field of boulders). While a toddler is walking he is uneasy on his feet and often losing his balance or tripping. But while the parent has hold of his hand, he never falls. God was making it clear that while this was going to be rocky road ahead, exciting in all the breathtaking views along the way, He would have our hands and would not let us fall. That was a wonderful image that I will take with me.
Well for now, we are resting and recouping and enjoying special time with the grandparents. Rest is good. Family is good. We are blessed.